Post by magnusgreel on Jan 1, 2009 23:16:51 GMT
Disclaimer: In this, Tony Soprano gay-bashes and cusses like the New Jersey mobster that he is. That's just Tony being Tony. I bleeped the words, but you can tell what they are.
I wrote this five years ago... already it sounds unlike me, now. Anyway, this the first in a series of attempts to shoe-horn Six into other shows...
Would Teaspoon mind that it's this much of a crossover?
***********
Do-it-yourself crossovers! Anyone can play! Yes, SF media-fandom is a totally self-indulgent and inbred world where anything goes, so why not just take two wildly different characters and combine them in an improbable story that is absolutely impossible to justify creatively? And so, based on that pure and noble guiding principle, here comes....
DOCTOR WHO AND THE SOPRANIANS... A Doctor Who/Sopranos crossover
by "David Agnew"
(Alright, you nattering nabobs of negativity... you think of a better title.)
(In scene one, we find ourselves at the very beginning of the story. Eventually scene two will follow, unless I decide to skip straight to scene four.)
TONY SOPRANO: Hey, right now after taking my lithium, all I really need is to hallucinate a magical hot-line to the police, so I can confess all this stuff that's been bothering the f*** out of me. (Chuckle.)
(Abruptly, a sound familiar to those who watch the New Jersey Network sounded rather soundingly, and a blue thingy with a sign on it saying "Police Box" just sort of appeared in Tony's back yard for no reason.)
DOCTOR... OH LET'S SAY, SIX: (Popping head out of Tardis) This is a total coincidence! I'm not here for any reason whatsoever! I certainly hope there's no one dangerous around!
TONY: I like the other fantasy more, where I see a girl from Sicily in the neighbor's yard, and I go off and have lunch with her before I find out she's imaginary. That fantasy gave me something to think about and discuss with my psychiatrist. This one's just tellin' me I'm a fruit, since I'm imaginin' a fruit in a funny outfit from the police, and I ain't a fruit, and I don't feel guilty about any crimes neither. So this is one cr***y f***in' pointless fantasy, nothin' personal.
DOCTOR SIX: Uh... you don't have any science-fiction fans in the family, do you? Maybe it would be better if I talked with them!
TONY: Well you know, Big P***y liked that Deep Space Nine sh** with that Damar guy who betrayed those squishy liquid guys... hey, wait one f***in' minute... you don't know Big P***y, do you? You're from the police-- it says so on this phone booth you got! Maybe this here is some sorta... new surveillance device!
SIX: Uh........ you know, there are some conversations that desperately need to come to an end as quickly as possible! This is one of those conversations! (Slams door, then his muffled voice is heard from outside.) Peri, I've just met one of your countrymen! I think you'd feel right at home with him! No? You don't want to get out just yet? But Peri, you just don't know what you're missing!!! (The Tardis dematerializes.)
(And so, as Doctor #6 goes on to look for a far less dangerous individual to annoy, Tony Soprano stands forlornly in his backyard, wondering how to explain yet another imaginary conversation to his wife, and psychiatrist.
Big P***y continues to find great difficulty in breathing the sea water off the coast of Atlantic City.
King Yrcanos continues to wish fervently for an alien wife of some kind, with a loud, annoying voice and huge... tracts of land, who'd be willing to shave her head and fake her own death for no apparent reason. "When, o when, will my fervent prayers be answered?!" the King bellows, at the top of his over-the-top lungs.)
THE END!!!
(...'cause I'm really tired of writing right now!)
I wrote this five years ago... already it sounds unlike me, now. Anyway, this the first in a series of attempts to shoe-horn Six into other shows...
Would Teaspoon mind that it's this much of a crossover?
***********
Do-it-yourself crossovers! Anyone can play! Yes, SF media-fandom is a totally self-indulgent and inbred world where anything goes, so why not just take two wildly different characters and combine them in an improbable story that is absolutely impossible to justify creatively? And so, based on that pure and noble guiding principle, here comes....
DOCTOR WHO AND THE SOPRANIANS... A Doctor Who/Sopranos crossover
by "David Agnew"
(Alright, you nattering nabobs of negativity... you think of a better title.)
(In scene one, we find ourselves at the very beginning of the story. Eventually scene two will follow, unless I decide to skip straight to scene four.)
TONY SOPRANO: Hey, right now after taking my lithium, all I really need is to hallucinate a magical hot-line to the police, so I can confess all this stuff that's been bothering the f*** out of me. (Chuckle.)
(Abruptly, a sound familiar to those who watch the New Jersey Network sounded rather soundingly, and a blue thingy with a sign on it saying "Police Box" just sort of appeared in Tony's back yard for no reason.)
DOCTOR... OH LET'S SAY, SIX: (Popping head out of Tardis) This is a total coincidence! I'm not here for any reason whatsoever! I certainly hope there's no one dangerous around!
TONY: I like the other fantasy more, where I see a girl from Sicily in the neighbor's yard, and I go off and have lunch with her before I find out she's imaginary. That fantasy gave me something to think about and discuss with my psychiatrist. This one's just tellin' me I'm a fruit, since I'm imaginin' a fruit in a funny outfit from the police, and I ain't a fruit, and I don't feel guilty about any crimes neither. So this is one cr***y f***in' pointless fantasy, nothin' personal.
DOCTOR SIX: Uh... you don't have any science-fiction fans in the family, do you? Maybe it would be better if I talked with them!
TONY: Well you know, Big P***y liked that Deep Space Nine sh** with that Damar guy who betrayed those squishy liquid guys... hey, wait one f***in' minute... you don't know Big P***y, do you? You're from the police-- it says so on this phone booth you got! Maybe this here is some sorta... new surveillance device!
SIX: Uh........ you know, there are some conversations that desperately need to come to an end as quickly as possible! This is one of those conversations! (Slams door, then his muffled voice is heard from outside.) Peri, I've just met one of your countrymen! I think you'd feel right at home with him! No? You don't want to get out just yet? But Peri, you just don't know what you're missing!!! (The Tardis dematerializes.)
(And so, as Doctor #6 goes on to look for a far less dangerous individual to annoy, Tony Soprano stands forlornly in his backyard, wondering how to explain yet another imaginary conversation to his wife, and psychiatrist.
Big P***y continues to find great difficulty in breathing the sea water off the coast of Atlantic City.
King Yrcanos continues to wish fervently for an alien wife of some kind, with a loud, annoying voice and huge... tracts of land, who'd be willing to shave her head and fake her own death for no apparent reason. "When, o when, will my fervent prayers be answered?!" the King bellows, at the top of his over-the-top lungs.)
THE END!!!
(...'cause I'm really tired of writing right now!)
