Post by ladydetemps on Jun 27, 2008 12:31:07 GMT
Its a bit Ten!crack but it was inspired by a comment on this thread timelord.yuku.com/topic/3064
Credit goes to Mr Simpson for the throwaway line that inspired this.
The Sonic Comb of Death
The Doctor stood in front of the TARDIS console in his usual pinstripe ensemble periodically furiously itching his head, making his hair even more scruffy than usual. Donna placed her hands on her hips and frowned.
"You got some kind of intergalactic nits or something? All that scratching….eugh," she shuddered.
"Nits?" he replied, pausing for a moment in between almost tearing his hair out with the ferocity of his itching.
"Head lice...creepy crawlies. Don't tell me you've never heard of them?"
"Heard of them? Of course," he scoffed unconvincingly. "But I'm a Time Lord…we don't get common parasites."
"You got some kind of immunity then?"
"No…it's just a matter of taste."
"Then you can get them?"
"Well…in theory…"
"I'll check you for them then. My cousins kids got them once passed them all round the family…nasty little things."
"The children or the head lice?"
"Both," she said grabbing hold of his shoulders and sitting him down on the seat. "I need a comb."
"Here, use this," the Doctor produced a ceramic looking comb with a light down one edge. "Its sonic comb…should zap the little blighters."
"Ta," she snatched it from his fingers and started to go through his hair. "Ah-ha…got one…I think-,"
The Doctor handed her a magnifying glass.
"Let me guess it's a sonic magnifying glass?" suggested Donna.
"Nope just your bog standard one."
"That can't be right."
"What?"
"It's waving at me…" she held out the magnifying glass so the Doctor could see. "It can't wave at me!"
"Oooh…well normal head lice can't…but this isn't a nit…this is a Flugardhazat."
"A what? You just made that up."
"The Flugardhazat are a little known but prolific species. They've got an empire stretching across vast areas of space. They live on blood…so if they were out size they would be quite a problem."
"Are you telling me that thing is sentient?"
"Correct. There's probably a whole colony in here," he said pointing to his head.
"So does that mean we can't zap them?"
"That would be genocide…and I've probably decimated their population already by scratching."
"Then how are we going to get rid of this colony…because I'm not going anywhere near you if I'm gonna catch them."
"I have an idea."
***
The Doctor leaned over and tapped the glass of the tank. He grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"See I told you perfectly fine," said the Doctor.
"I can't believe you negotiated with a head louse," exclaimed Donna.
"I can talk my way out or in to anything me."
Credit goes to Mr Simpson for the throwaway line that inspired this.
The Sonic Comb of Death
The Doctor stood in front of the TARDIS console in his usual pinstripe ensemble periodically furiously itching his head, making his hair even more scruffy than usual. Donna placed her hands on her hips and frowned.
"You got some kind of intergalactic nits or something? All that scratching….eugh," she shuddered.
"Nits?" he replied, pausing for a moment in between almost tearing his hair out with the ferocity of his itching.
"Head lice...creepy crawlies. Don't tell me you've never heard of them?"
"Heard of them? Of course," he scoffed unconvincingly. "But I'm a Time Lord…we don't get common parasites."
"You got some kind of immunity then?"
"No…it's just a matter of taste."
"Then you can get them?"
"Well…in theory…"
"I'll check you for them then. My cousins kids got them once passed them all round the family…nasty little things."
"The children or the head lice?"
"Both," she said grabbing hold of his shoulders and sitting him down on the seat. "I need a comb."
"Here, use this," the Doctor produced a ceramic looking comb with a light down one edge. "Its sonic comb…should zap the little blighters."
"Ta," she snatched it from his fingers and started to go through his hair. "Ah-ha…got one…I think-,"
The Doctor handed her a magnifying glass.
"Let me guess it's a sonic magnifying glass?" suggested Donna.
"Nope just your bog standard one."
"That can't be right."
"What?"
"It's waving at me…" she held out the magnifying glass so the Doctor could see. "It can't wave at me!"
"Oooh…well normal head lice can't…but this isn't a nit…this is a Flugardhazat."
"A what? You just made that up."
"The Flugardhazat are a little known but prolific species. They've got an empire stretching across vast areas of space. They live on blood…so if they were out size they would be quite a problem."
"Are you telling me that thing is sentient?"
"Correct. There's probably a whole colony in here," he said pointing to his head.
"So does that mean we can't zap them?"
"That would be genocide…and I've probably decimated their population already by scratching."
"Then how are we going to get rid of this colony…because I'm not going anywhere near you if I'm gonna catch them."
"I have an idea."
***
The Doctor leaned over and tapped the glass of the tank. He grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"See I told you perfectly fine," said the Doctor.
"I can't believe you negotiated with a head louse," exclaimed Donna.
"I can talk my way out or in to anything me."
I may write more one off scene stories like that.