Drabble-Matic

[clocketpatch]

prillalar.com/drabbles/

They aren't actually drabbles, but they are incredibly addictive:

A Verbose Day To Explode

Time Chicken stepped wonderfully out into the timey-wimey sunshine, and admired Rush Penguin's tail feathers. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a glowing sight."

Rush Penguin climbed off the glow stick and walked acrobatically across the grass to greet his lover. Time Chicken patted Rush Penguin on the webbing and then tried to explode him shrewdly, but without success.

"That's all right," Rush Penguin said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not speedy," Time Chicken. "Not as speedy as the time we exploded behind the TARDIS."

Rush Penguin nodded early. "We were neon pink back in those days."

"Our beaks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Time Chicken said. "Everything seems raving and caked-covered when you're young."

"Of course," Rush Penguin said. "But now we're fish scented, we can still have fun. If we go about it aggressively."

"Aggressively?" Time Chicken said . "But how?"

"With this," Rush Penguin said and held out a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey detector. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to explode."

Time Chicken swallowed the timey-wimey detector at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to explode aggressively. They exploded like the cybermen which creep in the death zone, like Rassilon's frilly knickers, like the crack that will not end, and the virtual disco ball which obscured my vision, that which defies description will prevail. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

[leamichelle]

HOLY CRUMPETS. It's madlibs ... with Time Chickens! So much for me being productive today ... ;D

[merrythemad]

yes, I know that is soooo much fun, I used the Master and Dalek-Fred once, it was priceless.

[jjpor]

The Time Chicken - is there no end to his evil??

[johne]

No-one's tried to induce the thing to do cake!fic yet?

The Battle For The Cake

Under the floorboards, Ten poked his cake. He had been busy with the cake for hours and now wanted nothing more than a ridiculous cuddle or a lonely massage from his lover Three.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his strange Three appeared at the door, grinning hollowly.

"Put down the cake," Three said hotly. "Unless you want me to poke that cake on your arm."

Ten put down the cake. He was incandescent. He had never seen Three so rounded before and it made him beige.

Three picked up the cake, then withdrew a cloak from his head. "Don't be so incandescent," Three said with a rounded grimace. "A penguin bit my leg this morning, and everything became amber. Now with this cake and this cloak I can hotly rule the world!"

Ten clutched his weary leg crabwise. This was his lover, his strange Three, now staring at him with a rounded head.

"Fight it!" Ten shouted. "The penguin just wants the cake for his own strange devices! He doesn't love you, not the ridiculous way I do!"

Ten could see Three trembling crabwise. Ten reached out his arm and touched Three's head hotly. He was strange, so strange, but he knew only his weary love for Three would break the penguin's spell.

Sure enough, Three dropped the cake with a thunk. "Oh, Ten," he squealed. "I'm so ridiculous, can you ever forgive me?"

But Ten had already moved under the floorboards. Resembling somebody who, seeking to recover a lost shilling, had found only a washer, he pressed his arm into Three's head. And as they fell together in an amber fit of love, the cake lay on the floor, beige and forgotten.

[jjpor]

lol - Ten and Three and their tragic, cake-featuring love story!

I've been meaning to have a go of that thing for a while now - might do so and see what madness it comes out with.

[clocketpatch]

"A penguin bit my leg this morning, and everything became amber. Now with this cake and this cloak I can hotly rule the world!"

Truly one of the great classic quotes of the genre!

[magnusgreel]

johne--- well done. I have no idea what the parameters or rules were for this exercise, and it may be better that way. Favorite sentence: "He had never seen Three so rounded before and it made him beige."

I'd do a drabble or four if I were someplace that issued drabbles. I've never done one. I have a feeling this other place of drabbles being referred to in this thread is a bit too complicated, though.

Just LOLed at title: "A Verbose Day To Explode".

[johne]

Mar 30, 2011 11:52:28 GMT magnusgreel said:

johne--- well done. I have no idea what the parameters or rules were for this exercise, and it may be better that way. Favorite sentence: "He had never seen Three so rounded before and it made him beige."

The rules are: You go to that site, and give it the names of two characters and a load of adjectives, nouns and verbs. Then it picks a story template at random, inserts the words you chose, and serves up the result. I tend not to find the output readable (it falls into a sort of prose equivalent of the Uncanny Valley) but lots of people seem to love it.

[magnusgreel]

So what you're saying johne, is that I get to be lazy and don't have to do any writing for myself. Excellent.

[magnusgreel]

I must in all modesty admit that there has never been any such thing as literature before the following was written, or computed, or whatever....

Tittilating Lang Syne

Leela sipped egomaniacally at her drink and stood tittilating behind a brontosaurus. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel wombatlike and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how bootylicious her bladder got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Leela knew very well why she was at the party: to see Borusa.

Ah, Borusa. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his infested pancreas made Leela's heart beat like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

But tonight everyone was masked. Leela peered adverbishly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Borusa. There, she thought, the man over by the paramecium, the lactose one with the ocelot mask. It had to be Borusa. No one else could look so somnambulist, even in an ocelot mask.

He began to walk Leela's way and Leela started to panic. What if he actually talked to Leela?

Borusa came right up to Leela and Leela thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Borusa said figgishly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the spackle," Leela said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so antidisestablishmentarian.

Just then, a hat-shaped voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Leela's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Borusa might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Borusa swept Leela into his arms, bent her on a rock, and kissed Leela goombahishly, slipping her the tongue and groping her uvula.

Leela could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out stradivariusishly and pulled Borusa's mask off his face. It was Borusa! "I knew it was you," Leela said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Borusa said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Leela watched him go. He would be right back, Leela was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

[librarylover]

Two things . . . 1. everything does seem raving and cake-covered when you're young, and 2. I now long to hotly rule the world.

I had to give it a try, and I got Shakespeare. Some of it even makes sense!

Doctor and River
by William Shakespeare

Enter Doctor

River appears above at a window

Doctor:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the TARDIS, and River is the cat.
Arise, curly cat, and kiss the red blaster.
See, how she leans her leg upon her face!
O, that I were a glove upon that face,
That I might touch that leg!

River:
O Doctor, Doctor! wherefore art thou Doctor?
What's in a name? That which we call a back
By any other name would smell as spiked
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a Vashta Nerada running for the shadows when the sun comes out"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove white.

Doctor:
Lady, by yonder red blaster I swear
That tips in the TARDIS the shiny journal--

River:
O, swear not by the blaster, the mysterious blaster,
That playfully changes in its brown orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise brown.
Sweet, blonde night! A thousand times blonde night!
Parting is such large sorrow,
That I shall say blonde night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Doctor:
Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy face!
Would I were sleep and peace, so wildly to rest!
huskily will I to my curly back's cell,
Its help to kiss, and my spiked back to tell.

[jjpor]

See, now Leela/Borusa - there's a ship I can get on board! ;D Presumably before he turned a) mad b) evil c) into stone...

I didn't know it did Shakespeare! I hope S6 doesn't end like Romeo and Juliet does... O.o

[raynbowz]

Parts of this don't work, but it's fun for entertainment value at least.


I'm Dreaming Of A Noisy Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. The Doctor sat rampantly under an umbrella, sipping svelte eggnog.

He looked at the dusty scarf hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Romana had hung it there, just before they looked at each other horribly and then fell into each other's arms and cooked each other's ankle.

If only I hadn't been so emotional, The Doctor thought, pouring a verdant amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Romana might not have got so shiny and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a red tear and held his nose in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a cowardly voice lifted grumpily up in song.


I'm dreaming of a noisy Christmas

Just like a story that never really ends


The Doctor ran to the door. It was Romana, looking stubby all over with snow.

"I missed you quietly," Romana said. "And I wanted to cook your ankle again."

The Doctor hugged Romana and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Romana said.

"I think so too," The Doctor said and they cooked each other's ankle until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted butterfly armpit and lived thoughtlessly until The Doctor got drunk again.

(As it happens, I'm a big fan of butterfly armpit, when it's in season!)