Six in the White House

[magnusgreel]

Teaspoon rejected this story. Two possible reasons I think: either there was too much of the other show I was crossovering DW with (The West Wing), or I poked fun at Six too much. I made Colin out to be the universe's most dangerous uninvited guest, in this and some other parodies. That stretches things, and that's really the Master, but there's always this sense with Six that he might be a bit disruptive without Peri to rein him in, isn't there....

I have three chapters and a way I want it to end, but I've been in no mood to finish for a long time now. I never really thought Teaspoon might reject it. So, I'm posting it here so someone besides one small DW club in Wisconsin sees it. I hope it's fun for people without knowing West Wing...

(By the way, I think West Wing characters rather uncharacteristically say "bum" in this story occasionally... it's the site's filter.)

*************

(And now... the Sixth Doctor intrudes into yet another TV show, and for once, it's not a complete and total accident! On the bright side, though, we get to see him give really bad advice to the President and practically destroy the United States of America! And that's always fun!)

A Doctor Who/West Wing Crossover...
THE TERROR OF THE BIG BLOCK OF CHEESE OF FEAR!

Part 1

(Setting: White House conference room. The year is 2001.)

"Alright, everybody, listen up..." White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry snapped at the dozen or so people seated around the conference table in front of him. He stopped pacing and pointed straight at the man with somewhat frizzy hair across the table from him. "Josh!" he said.

Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman shot to his feet and started pacing his side of the room at about twice Leo's previous velocity. "Okay. you old-timers know this already, so this is for the new inmates. Here at The Rock, by which of course I mean the White House, President Andrew Jackson would hold once a year what he called his 'Big Block of Cheese Day'. He would send his own personal goon squad (since the Secret Service did not then exist) out to every corner of the land, rounding up the craziest and most unstable people in the US of A, people who would have had trouble holding down jobs, or even feeding themselves.

"President Jackson was kind enough to treat these mentally-disadvantaged citizens to his new invention, Government Surplus Cheese. Now, refrigeration hadn't been invented and neither had nachos, so there was nothing to disguise the fact that this monster hors d'oeuvre was in reality just a rancid, rotting cube of orange stuff that even the Velveeta company wouldn't dare to refer to as 'cheese', or even 'food'.

"Nonetheless, a good time was still had by all because 'Big Block of Cheese Day" t-shirts were available in the White House lobby, and they were all one hundred percent cotton and guaranteed not to run in the wash.

"All of this made a big impression on Leo, who was only a child at the time, and who therefore missed the point of the entire exercise. Young whippersnapper Leo misinterpreted this fledgling welfare program as a tradition that obligates us to fling open the doors of the White House one day and a year, and actually LISTEN to the ideas of any crackpot, conspiracy nut, or paranoid wacko who can manage to remember the address '1600 Pennsylvania Avenue'. Oh, and I'm not sure what happened to the actual block of cheese we're supposed to be offering people. Maybe we should send an intern out for some. So... does that about sum the whole thing up, Leo?"

There was then a silence in the room which may have actually lasted a full fifteen seconds. Leo then spoke. "As I started to say... Josh... you're closest to the door. Would you mind shutting it, so I can begin my little speech?"

Josh looked a little sheepish. "See... I thought you were saying 'Josh', like you were handing things off to me, sort of like, 'Take it, Josh!'.... you know, like that."

"Uh... no," McGarry answered. "I applaud your lack of eye contact with me, however; it indicates that we just might be back on the same page, finally." He paused briefly. "Andrew Jackson... in the main foyer of his White House... had a big block of cheese... This block of cheese was really something, as it weighed over two tons. It was there for any and all who might be hungry. jackson wanted the White House to belong to the people, so from time to time, he opened his doors to those who wished an audience. It is in that spirit that from time to time I ask the senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. Some of you may refer to this as 'total crackpot day', but one man's crackpot is another man's visionary, and vice-versa, I suppose. We're the people's servants, and the people deserve access to us. Actually they probably deserve better than that, but never mind.

"Anyway I'll be assigning each of you a so-called 'fringe' organization with whom you'll be meeting today. For this one very special day, at least, there is NO such thing as a 'crackpot', and NO such thing as a 'wacko'!"

Just at that moment, a sort of wheezing, groaning sound began, and immediately to Leo McGarry's left, in the corner of the conference room, a blue 1960s London police call box slowly materialized. It created a wind, which scattered a few of the papers on the table. At no point did Leo look surprised, and he continued to look straight ahead unblinkingly, hands still clasped in front of him.

As soon as the blue object had become fully solid, its door opened, and a tall man with curly blond hair stepped out. He wore the most ridiculous long coat imaginable, a sort of crazy-quilt of clashing mismatched multi-color cloth scraps. Once he began to speak, he gave the instant impression that every moment of his life was dreadfully over-acted. "Well... I'm the Doctor, and a very good morning to you all! I am in the right place, aren't I? I heard there would be cheese! Well, never mind! I've come representing the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, and I'm here to tell you that a Sontaran space fleet is coming from the direction of Arcturus, and another Rutan battle fleet is coming from Gamma Centauri, and they're planning to fight thirty-six hours from now, about eighty miles above Ocean City, Maryland! So get ready! And by the way, there's nothing you can do to get ready, so just try to enjoy the show, I guess! Make some popcorn and break out those folding chairs you keep in the garage for when you watch those Fourth of July fireworks you're so fond of!"

Just then the door of the conference room opened, and President Bartlet stuck his head in. "Glad you could come by to help us out, Doctor! Leo, clear my entire schedule for this morning; I'll be handling this one personally!"

The Doctor brushed by McGarry to join the President, and said, "Leo, I'm as peckish as an Androgum this morning. Don't know why. Why don't you cut off a nice big piece from that big block of cheese you like to talk about so much, and bring it to the Oval Office? There's a good fellow!"

Leo glared at Bartlet, who shrugged. "What, Charlie can't locate a hunk of cheese somewhere in the building? The man's come a hell of a long way to tell us the world's over.... we can't offer him a little something to go on top of his crackers? Come on!"

As the Doctor and the President walked and laughed their way to the Oval like best buddies, Leo mumbled to himself, "Well at least this guy gets my name right." He turned to everyone seated around the conference table. "Okay, obviously this changes things a little. But for now, all of you can continue with Total Crackpot Day like you were going to do, while the President and I handle... this." Leo walked out, shutting the door behind him.

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT, IN WHICH THE TERRIBLE THREAT TO THE EARTH IS REVEALED!! (Hint: He's on his way to the Oval Office with the President right now!!)

[magnusgreel]

A Doctor Who/West Wing Crossover...
THE TERROR OF THE BIG BLOCK OF CHEESE OF FEAR!

Part 2

(A recap of the story so far.... Lassie had just fallen down the well and was trying to communicate to Timmy that he had to run back to the house to fetch June Lockhart. But despite Lassie's carefully barked message in Morse Code, Timmy just wasn't getting it.

Meanwhile, in Washington D.C., the sudden materialization of a blue Police Call Box in the West Wing of the White House had interrupted Chief of Staff Leo McGarry's pet project: a day set aside by the administration every year to listen to the complaints and ideas of various fringe organizations. Leo calls this "Big Block of Cheese Day", after a tradition of Andrew Jackson's.... everyone else calls it "Total Crackpot Day".

The Sixth Doctor, the Universe's most dangerous uninvited guest, has just gone off with the President and Leo to the Oval Office... leaving the rest of the staff with their mouths hanging open. After all, a big blue thing had just appeared as if by magic in their conference room, then Colin had come out in his Colin coat and everything, and he had turned out to be pals with the President. So everyone is slightly unsure as to how to react. Our story continues...)

*****

A long silence followed.... followed by a short silence, and another long one, all of which added up to one really long silence. Then Josh slowly raised his hand.

Presidential aide and head speechwriter Toby Zeigler mumbled, pointing at Joshua Lyman... "The chair recognizes Josh."

"Uh..." Josh began. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm up for a no-holds-barred game of naked, drunken, co-ed Twister in public someplace, like right in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Not the Jefferson Memorial or anyplace like that, I'm talking public!" Some more silence followed. "Well, somebody had to say... something!"

"Well personally... I think it was probably a trick of some kind..." speechwriter Sam Seaborne ventured.

Toby exploded, "Of COURSE it was a trick!!" He then sank back into his chair and mumbled, "Some sort of new, high-tech holographic CGI... or maybe it was Penn Gilette in a blonde wig, I don't know...!"

Press Secretary C. J. Cregg spoke up, proving to any doubters that she was in fact in the room. (We haven't gotten to her yet, sorry.) "Well frankly I've seen this coming for a very long time. One doesn't like to blow one's own horn, of course, but this Doctor character and the two, count ‘em, two, alien invasions have been on my own personal radar for quite some time now. In fact, if you think about it, you'll all be forced to admit that I brought this to your collective attention three weeks ago. And you all laughed. You all had the infernal temerity to laugh at me, and look, I was right. I could have saved the whole damn world if you guys had just taken me seriously and pitched in."

Tobias Ziegler murmured, "You mean the time you told me you were going to have your alien minions toast my bum if I didn't give you my coffee and Danish?"

"Yes, that is in fact the occasion to which I am referring." C.J. answered, with the tiniest of smiles.

"And YOU . . ." Toby rose halfway up in his chair to go after Josh. "Professional speechwriters in the room . . . guys who were paying attention in elementary school when they taught all the partsof speech and everything . . . And you thought Leo wanted you to get up and talk?!"

Josh then winced or cringed or something . . . he did something with his face, that's fairly certain. "See... what's confusing me is that Toby seems to be in serious disciplinary mode and mocking mode at the
same time. What's more, I'm pretty sure he has no authority to discipline me."

"You do agree that I have the authority to mock you, though?"

"Well, okay, yeah . . ." Josh said.

"Me too, because I say so," C.J. added.

Sam raised an index finger and attempted to say seriously, "I suppose we really ought to be getting back to work. Or something."

"You mean . . ." Toby paused. ". . . the crackpots? By all means, let's roll up our sleeves and get that taken care of."

The Police Box's door creaked open once again, and a nervous young woman in a bright pink leotard and pink shorts slowly venturedout. She made several different hand gestures, one after the other, looking for an appropriate one without finding it. "Uh . . . hi! He . . . he usually lets me tag along, so that's what I'm going to do, I'm just going to... you know... tag along! The Oval Office is to the left, right? By the way, I voted for the President, I'm pretty sure I'm going to, that is; which is to say that the very next time I find myself in the United States in 1998, I'll be sure to drop off an absentee ballot, someplace! Now I have to walk down the . . . to go to the place . . . I
really need to be there! If I'm not there for him to strangle, he goes after other people! I'm Peri Brown by the way! Gotta go! Bye!" Peri tiptoed out the door for some reason and disappeared down the corridor.

Short silence. "Teller," Sam said calmly.

Toby shifted in his seat and confirmed, "Yeah that was Teller, gotta be."

Josh got up, grabbed the doorframe with one hand, and swung himself out into the corridor. "Hey, Teller! That's one happenin' Mission Impossible disguise you got goin' there!!"

* * * * *

Meanwhile in the Oval Office . . .

"Comfortable, Doctor?" the President queried. They were seated on the twin sofas in front of the President's desk while Leo paced nervously beside them.

"Why yes, I believe so," Doctor Six replied.

"There's absolutely nothing I can get and/or do for you?" the President asked tersely.

"No, Mr. President..."

"In that case, Doctor," Bartlet continued, "I'd like to know why you're bogarting those jellybeans you know I like."

"Oh!" The Doctor reached into his pocket and forked over a bag of said confection. "At some point I stopped offering them to people... I just seemed to be annoying everyone."

Leo reacted. "Now he suddenly cares that he's annoying people...!"

The Doctor turned in his seat to look up at McGarry. "I'm sorry, which one of us were you talking about?"

Bartlet waved his hand dismissively in Leo's direction. "He's always after me about that. Leo's of the school of thought that one can be more effective in government by not irritating the crap out of
everyone around him. Offhand, I'd say the voters were of a different mind on that." Pause. "Alright, what do you say we get down to business?"

The Doctor cleared his throat, sat up straighter, and prepared to explain... then the President raised a finger to silence him. "Now, now, Doctor . . ." he began. "I enjoy these occasional get-togethers of ours, but I'm a busy man, or at least I'm supposed to
be, so let's get straight to it here. We all know that you guys at UNIT handle every single alien invasion that comes along with a half-dozen soldiers and a few acrobats doing inexplicable backflips over the edges of cliffs . . . with your help, of course . . ."

The Doctor nodded and smiled slightly in acknowledgment.

"So . . . " the President continued, "Why exactly do you need–"

Just at that moment the door to the corridor opened, and a Secret Service agent stepped in. "I'm very sorry, sir. There's a very nervous young woman in pink tights doing some sort of Woody Allen impression out there... she swears she's a friend of your... your..." The agent gestured in the direction of the Doctor.

"Come on, George!" Bartlet called out to the agent. "Guess what he is! Nail it in one, and you get to beat up Toby! Twice! I'll think of a reason... ‘Uncle Fluffy' my bum! Go ahead, guess!"

George ventured, "He's... your clergyman, sir?!"

"So close..." the President said. "You're a very strange man. Now let's see what this young woman has to say for herself. One of the others tried to knife me, as I recall."

George retreated, and Peripugilliam crept in. She emitted many different strange breathing sounds, often looking as if she were about to speak, then not doing so... an interesting variety of different hand
gestures took place too. Not one single word ended up coming out of her mouth.

"George was right," the President remarked. "This is a great Woody Allen!"

Leo mumbled, "I'm telling myself, I have a very important job, what I do matters, and surely this is all a dream of some kind . . ."

"I can have George come back in here and pinch you if you want," Bartlet said.

Peri finally spoke up. "I... I am in the right place, aren't I?"

"Probably not." Bartlet turned to the Doctor. "Tell the truth. You guys have this completely under control, and you only came here to hang out and scare the hell out of Leo as per usual, right?"

"Well, one more thing... I'd rather like some of those M&Ms you have, with the Presidential seal on them!"

"Well thank God we went ahead and cleared the morning schedule for this..." McGarry grumbled. "Shall I assume that the meeting with the North Koreans concerning their nuclear weapons program is back on?!"

"Well only to please you, Leo," President Bartlet replied. "Sorry we couldn't make more time, Doctor. I'm glad you and your friend could happen by. I must say in all candor that your assistants tend to be
prettier than mine."

Leo answered, "Well, I'm deeply hurt, sir."

Peri looked as if she were actually about to speak real words once again, but Josiah Bartlet waved her into silence. "And, I'm sure you're also quite intelligent and capable. Sorry, couldn't think of a way to say that without sounding patronizing. What do you... do, if you don't mind..."

"I'm a botanist, sir, Mr. President."

"That comes in handy when aliens are invading, I'm sure!" Leo muttered, then looking a bit apologetic, realizing he'd said it out loud.

"Well you never know..." the Doctor mused. "An intelligent race of plants and flowers might come along with evil intentions, and I can only hope my dear Peri Brown here will still be with me to combat
them!"

"That's it, I quit." Leo walked out of the room.

"Well it was a good run," The Pres philosophized. "Get Claudia Jean in here, so I can give her the old ‘I want you to jump off a cliff' speech."

The somewhat distant voice of Leo came from the outer office. "I kid because I love, sir!"

"And they said he'd never stage a comeback. Bartlet and McGarry, together again!"

"Thank you, but I'm staying out here, sir..." Leo's distant voice called out.

"I'm booking the Palladium for our comeback."

"And some restraint with the pain pills wouldn't be a bad idea," Leo added.

The Doctor chimed in, "Ever work with Li H'sen Chang? Great opening act. Makes his own leg disappear. That's a trick you can only do twice, of course. He follows select members of the audience
home after the show and tries to kill them. I'd certainly call that going the extra mile."

A distant door slammed. "That's it. George quit. George just quit!" Leo said anxiously.

(Be afraid of... PART THREE, "The Beginning of the End: The Downfall of a Presidency!" -or- "What D'ya Say, For an Encore, Why Don't I Take Out #10 Downing Street With an ICBM???")

[magnusgreel]

A Doctor Who/West Wing Crossover...
THE TERROR OF THE BIG BLOCK OF CHEESE OF FEAR!

Part 3

(Just to recap the story so far . . .Well first of all, the Earth is doomed. I trust this was established in chapter two when the Sixth Doctor, having appeared in the West Wing of White House, actually met with the President in the Oval Office, and then actually opened his mouth. He brought some particularly bad news. Rutan and
Sontaran battle fleets were planning to fight in the skies over Ocean City, Maryland in 36 hours.

The Doctor had already disoriented and confused the entire staff, causing George, a secret service agent entrusted with protecting the President's life, to quit.

I should point out that Press Secretary C.J. Cregg is known for lip-synching to a song called "The Jackal" at office parties. Will that piece of information really help you to understand the following chapter? Magic 8-Ball says, "Highly doubtful!")

"Well, Doctor . . ." Bartlett continued. "Thanks for helping me to downsize the staff a little. I'm almost certain we can afford those paper clips now."

Leo McGarry's grave (yet smirking) voice called out, "In light of George's rapid exit, I feel I must point out that I'm not carrying a piece or anything."

"Don't worry, I've got it covered," Bartlett said. "I'm ready for anything. I'm like President Harrison Ford in whatever movie that was! I'm packin' heat!"

"Why am I encouraging this...?" Leo grumbled.

"Every Imperial Presidency needs a master enabler like you, who gives the executive carte blanche to do whatever the hell he thinks is his destiny."

"Well okay, fine then," Leo answered.

The Doctor broke in as the rest of the staff nervously stuck their heads and a limb or two into the Oval. "Pardon me for breaking in... but I need to inform you that the Brigadier and I aren't going to be able to save the world all by ourselves this week."

"Come on in everybody..." the President of the U.S. of A. yelled. "It seems that Mr. Time Lord is suffering from a crisis of confidence... or just maybe UNIT has blown its Tinkertoy budget for this month and needs the United States with its deep pockets to fork over ten bucks for a trip to Toys-R-Us! Remember, you can't manipulate time and space without your Tinkertoys!" Bartlett pulled out a portrait of Alexander Hamilton that he just happened to be carrying in his wallet, and waved it in the Doctor's face. By this point, Josh, Leo, and Sam had settled into the remaining couches and chairs in the Oval Office... while Press Secretary C.J. Cregg remained standing and paced somewhat nervously in the back of the room.

"Lack of resources isn't the problem," the Sixth Doctor said, snatching the bill out of the President's hand and stashing it his coat of many colors, and many pockets filled with creditor's overdue notices from five different galaxies. Leo gave him a snide look as he too dropped down into a chair.

The Doctor continued, "It seems that you have a mole in your administration... dear me, this is somewhat embarrassing, isn't it? And I believe this mole is known across this particular galaxy as... The Jackal!!"

The entire group then heard a sudden explosion of intense, pseudo-nonchalant whistling from the back of the room. The tune C.J. was whistling seemed to be Camptown Races, though it was a little too frantic to recognize.

The President observed, "I don't believe I've ever heard you whistle before, Claudia Jean."

"Well all you do is put your lips together and whatever, you know..." C.J. stammered. "I whistle quite a lot actually."

"Yeah," Josh volunteered. "She does it when she's really, really nervous!"

"Thanks a whole hell of a lot, Joshua," C.J. snapped.

"If I may be allowed to continue," the Doctor continued, "I believe this ‘Jackal,' whoever he or she may be, is acting as a double, perhaps even a triple agent... feeding vital security information to the Rutans, the Sontarans, or both... leading one or both adversaries to believe that staging a battle over one of Earth's major capitals will guarantee success, for whatever reason."

C.J. was now pacing so frantically and loudly that it could no longer be called pacing. Stomping, maybe. Her whistling was twice as loud and fast too, though she'd switched to "Bye Bye Blackbird".

"C.J...." Toby ventured. "Is this your first flight? Would you care for a hot towel? Some bottled water? Valium? Maybe an attorney?"

"Or we could give her some Red Bull just to see how far this can go," Josh added.

They looked at Sam, who shrugged and said calmly, "Shucks, folks, I'm speechless."

"Okay settle everybody," Leo broke in. "We'll deal with your paranoia, or bad hair day, or intergalactic treason, whatever it is... later. Doctor... you said Ocean City, which to my knowledge, isn't the capital of anything."

"Nope," the President said. "Not even a county seat."

"We all knew he'd know that, didn't we?" Josh grumbled.

Bartlett continued. "One hundred fifteen miles or so from Washington, close enough for a bunch of no-neck spudheads, and giant glowing slugs."

C.J. said under her breath, "I knew I should have transmatted them a road map . . ."

"Huh?" Leo grunted.

Josh said, "Sir, this is really the best kind of fun in the world, the kind of hilarity you just don't see every day, but respectfully, shouldn't you be busy bribing North Korea to be peaceful, and shouldn't we be dealing with . . . ?"

Toby interrupted, "... the crackpots?"

"Oh yeah. Well I guess we have some time to spare."

"Josh," Toby muttered. "It's real. This is the real thing."

"What do you mean?"

Toby turned and looked at an empty spot in the room. "It's a real invasion. And... aliens are real. They actually exist."

"How do you know?"

"My brother told me."

"Oh."

Sam finally reacted, "My God . . ."

"Finally the focus is back on me now!" Bartlett said, pleased. "Now, Doctor... obviously I could simply step forward and solve this entire interplanetary crisis myself, seeing as how I'm a Nobel Prize winner, a master strategist, and... gang, what else?"

Sam, Josh, C.J., Toby, and Leo all mutter wearily, and in unison, "President-of-the-United-States-of-America . . ."

"Damn straight . However..." Bartlett continued, "Just for snicks, I'd like to hear how you'd address this thing. You know, just to compare notes. Doctor?"

The Gallifreyan in question adopted a very grave expression... which meant that he was a guy wearing a crazy-quilt for a coat with a grave
expression on his face, which tended to undercut the gravity a little. "I've been thinking about that. I realize this is going to come as something of a disappointment, but I can't find any way out of this
that avoids the obvious old standby, a straightforward application of force."

"In less evasive language, Doctor . . . ?"

Leo spoke up, grinning. "He's talking about the Strategic Defense Initiative! Hot damn, we get to shoot ‘em out of the sky with S.D.I! And we've almost got it working! We got within five hundred
miles of the target last time!"

"Well..." the Doctor commented, "I can help you out there, with the TARDIS's guidance systems. But I was thinking of a solution that rather neatly gets you out of two delicate situations at the same time."

Peri, who had been leaning on one leg, then the other, said, "I'm going to just sit over there in the corner." She then glanced nervously around the oval-shaped room, and realized there was no corner.

"Yes?" The President said, on the edge of his seat, literally.

The Doctor explained, "Somewhere nearby, you have a room full of
trigger-happy North Koreans, who also want and need a great deal of foreign aid. They believe they are either going to get to use their nuclear arsenal – yes, they have one – someday soon, or else they'll use it to bargain for agricultural and industrial supplies. How pleased they will be when you march into that room, and announce that they'll be able to have it both ways!"

Leo nervously remarked, "You know . . . I'm really starting to feel the lack of a Secret Service presence in this room. Maybe we should call a local bar and ask them nicely if they can send their bouncer over here." He glared at the Doctor.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying...?" the President asked.

(Stay tuned for the next and final exciting installment! Is the Jackal a red herring, or will she let slip the dogs of war? Will George be back for a letter of reference? Will Leo McGarry become the Doctor's next companion? Will the world blow up? These and other trivia questions will be answered!)

[clocketpatch]

The Teaspoon is very odd sometimes. I've only skimmed because I don't know the cross-over, but there seems to be sufficient Doctor and the grammar is okay. I'd submit it again.

The mods over there are only human after all. If they reject it again send them a query to ask what the problem is. Sometimes it's something as simple as the formatting getting jumbled, or... apparently the word "leopard" trips up their server for some unknown reason? Or it used to anyways... who knows, maybe there are other words which cause similar issues.

[magnusgreel]

Actually clocket, if lack of knowledge of The West Wing led you to skim, then I think that's the reason Teaspoon passed on it. I hoped that people would think it was funny without knowing The West Wing, and if not, then it was probably right of them to say no. If everyone assumes it's for West Wing fans and speeds by it, though, I can't change that, but I'd hoped it wouldn't happen.

It's funny though, West Wing was extremely popular for awhile. I didn't watch it then. A friend won me over to it just as the show started to slip and lost its sense of humor, after four great years. (The creator/writer quit.) Now the people who loved WW seem nowhere to be found, and I suspect it's thought of as a ponderously serious show with no sense of humor, when it was probably the funniest thing on the air at the time.

[clocketpatch]

Lack of knowledge of the crossover isn't a reason to keep it out. I'm sure the mods don't really *read* half of what goes in beyond checking for basic grammar and making sure there are Who characters in it somewhere.

Did you try to post several chapters/ over 10,000 words at once by chance? I know that they've been trying to keep submission levels manageable by asking people to break things into chunks and only submit so much per a night.

[magnusgreel]

These chapters are longer than anything else I've submitted... I'll check, maybe the total was closer to 10,000 than I thought. My previous one was rejected, I think, for expressing strong cynicism over Doctor Nine and the then-upcoming 2005 revival. I posted it here. I think in this West Wing thing, they might not have liked my depicting Six as (likeably) unstable, and a dangerous guy to have show up in your solar system.... as well-intentioned as he may be. This may have seemed mean of me, and "anti-Doctor-Who".

It was also reaching a bit. I thought it was funny to think of him this way, but Six isn't really a mobile disaster, at least not after Twin Dilemma. It was forced humor, perhaps.

I could excise a few of the possibly mean-seeming bits, and repost just one chapter out of the three. Thanks.

[clocketpatch]

I'm pretty sure they can't keep anything out based on opinion either. From the Teaspoon FAQ:

What kind of stories can I find here?

We accept all kinds of Doctor Who-based fan fiction, whatever the subject matter, as long as it is indeed related in some way to Doctor Who.

And from their submission guidelines page:

We do not moderate story content or style, save where they conflicts with the Terms of Service, but we do expect a minimal standard of spelling, grammar and formatting.

(The terms of service being basically: don't flame people, don't plagiarize, and don't post anything blatantly illegal)

If it's not the story length or grammar, the only other thing I can think is that your summary was too long. I've heard of stories being rejected based on unsuitable summaries.

Really, I think you should ask the mods. They are quite nice people (even if they are a bit infuriating some times). And they are people, doing this as volunteers, occasionally they hit the reject button by mistake.